Lesson 3: Praying with Words, Yours and the Church's

People new to prayer usually land in one of two camps. Some only use written prayers and feel they are reciting rather than praying. Others only speak spontaneously and quickly run out of things to say. The healthiest prayer life uses both.

Why written prayers matter

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, He did not give them a method. He gave them words: the Our Father. The Church has followed that pattern ever since. Written prayers do several things that spontaneous prayer cannot.

They give you words when you have none. On the worst days, when grief or exhaustion has emptied you, you can still say the Our Father. They connect you to the whole Church; when you pray the Hail Mary you are praying with millions of people across time. And they teach you how to pray. The Psalms, which are 150 written prayers, cover every emotion from ecstasy to rage, and praying them trains you to bring all of yourself to God.

Learn a few by heart: the Our Father, the Hail Mary, the Glory Be, the Act of Contrition. Add the Morning Offering and a night prayer. These become the skeleton of your prayer life.

How to pray written prayers well

The danger of memorized prayer is autopilot. To avoid it, slow down. Pray one phrase, then pause. Our Father. Pause. Who art in heaven. Pause. Let each phrase land. Occasionally stop on one line and stay there for the whole prayer time. Hallowed be Thy name: how could I honor God's name today?

You can also personalize them. After the Our Father, add your own line: Give us this day our daily bread, and Lord, I especially need patience today.

Why your own words matter

God wants to hear from you, not just from a book. Speaking to Him in your own words, however clumsy, is what makes the relationship personal. Tell Him about your day. Tell Him what you are worried about. Tell Him you are angry, if you are. The Psalms do. Honesty is more important than eloquence.

If you feel stuck, use the four movements from Lesson 1 as prompts. Say one thing about who God is. Confess one thing. Thank Him for three specific things. Ask for what you and others need.

Putting them together

A simple pattern: open with a written prayer to settle yourself. Speak in your own words for the middle. Close with a written prayer. The traditional prayers act as bookends, and your own voice fills the space between.

Practice exercise

Tonight, pray the Our Father one phrase at a time, pausing after each. When you reach a phrase that connects with something in your life, stop and speak to God about it in your own words for one minute. Then finish the prayer. Notice how different it feels from reciting it straight through.